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Implants: the reason that I choose to start talking about implants is very simple, in my point of view they are the beginners in EBM, or using a better choice of words, they are the least invasive of the 3 base techniques. I found so many types of implants and all of them are very interesting, So I decided to write about: Eye ball jewellery Magnetic Implants 3d implants Eye ball jewellery is probably one of the newest techniques of the all EBM. It was developed by ophthalmologic experts, it is an ocular Surgery that adds a decorative platinum implant inserted under a thin membrane in the eye, which holds the implant in place. Since the membrane is clear, the implant can be seen clearly against the white of the eye. There are not many shapes of ornaments offered yet, and it is a very new procedure that for now can only be done officially in Holland, the cost is around U$ 1200.So far the doctors could not find a side effect to it, what does not mean that there aren’t any. In the U.S. some States committees already approved a bill to ban it; the procedure goes more or less like the following: • The eye is anesthetized with routine eye-drop anaesthesia medication. • The eye is decontaminated and draped with routine techniques used in ocular surgery. • An intra conjunctival bleb is created by injection of BSS in the most superficial conjunctive layer. The bleb may be positioned adjacent to the temporal limbus. • With conjunctive scissors, the bleb is opened and a superficial intra conjunctival tunnel is made. • The tunnel is checked to determine if it is wide enough to accommodate the implant. • The device is inserted into the tunnel up to the desired final position of the implant. • With a sponge, all excess BSS is removed from the implantation area. • At the end of the procedure, antibiotic drops are applied onto the eye. • Postoperative management includes antibiotic eye drops for 1-2 week(s). • The procedure takes about 15 minutes. So far Doctors could not find any side effect or complications caused by the implant, and hopefully they won’t find any. So keep in mind, there are very few people authorized to do this procedure, and so far it can only be realised in Holland, and even so only 2 clinics are fully authorized to do so. Magnetic Implants: What are they? They are small magnet implanted under your skin with the purpose to enhance your senses as if it was the acquisition of the so famous sixth sense, how it happens, by moving in response to an electromagnetic field and transferring this as sensation to the surrounding nerves. We can divide the magnetic implants into 4 types: Sensory: The one that supposed to give you the sixth sense Sexual: Where the magnets are placed inside the most sensitive area or the genitalia of a couple, male and female have to get the implant, it supposed to enhance the feeling of the body parts while in movement against each other, they can also be placed in the lips. Symbolic: is implanted but a couple to create a magnetic bond as the two people hold hands, as there are not real proves that a couple can really exchange energy thru this technique, we can take it as more discrete kind of wedding rings. Functional: Probably not a very comfortable matter, but if you get larger magnets you would be able to pick up things such as screws and some other items, with the magnets commonly used you can’t pick up more than a paper clips, the up side of having such small magnets is that they wont affect your credit cards, hard drives, monitors, and so on. To get the implant is also quite simple: Small incision in the tip of the finger and opening a pocket Create a tinny pocket to add the magnetic pellet (the magnets are about a third the size of a grain of rice) Do the suture and bandage the finger tips (the procedure takes about half an hour to do 5 fingers) The first few days the sensation is not very pleasant but after a week and the stitches taken off the pain goes away and in the period between 1 to 4 weeks you can start to enjoy the magnetic field moving feeling, and the benefit of this EBM is that the scars are almost invisible and if what I read is true, the feeling is quite interesting. Because this procedure is bran new the side effects are not known yet, but the biocompatibility of neodymium, but it is considered a generally toxic irritant and moderately poisonous with documented adverse effects. In order to keep the magnet from coming in contact with the skin, it has to be coated with a sheath of biocompatible silicone, there is always the risk of “peeled” the silicone off of the magnet, if it happens the compromised magnet should be replaced by removed and replaced by a new one. This procedure is so very new that not even all the BM specialists are doing it; some are waiting for it to get a bit safer and better developed. Because so far risks are unknown, but once that the coating of the magnet problem is solved it will probably turn into a huge trend among people. But if you are one of those that want to get all of it first, please wait until it is proved safe. 3d implants: It is the act of placing an object under the skin to create a design on the skin’s surface, it is actually a very simple technique, an incision is made, and the implant that can be made out of many materials (titanium, soft or solid silicon, Teflon and steel, the steel variety sometimes can cause an infection, there is also the option of natural bone tissue) is inserted, you are stitched up and ready to go. Simple….the after care apparently is simpler than the after care of a piercing. To get a 3D implant you can choose many areas of the body, forehead (the intern horns, third eye and the external horns), you can place spikes on your head, beads on your arms, legs, chest and many but many more, if you are a guy you can get your penis beaded (pearling), in many different ways. Some of the risks of the implants are: -Tissue Resorption: erosion of the tissue by rubbing or pressure applied against the body. Implant can bury itself into the muscles wearing down the body's natural defences; this risk can happen especially with hard materials such as Teflon and stain less steel so if you want to get it done try to use softer materials such as silicone and choose safer places to add the implants. -Implant Rejection: Is when the implants put enough pressure on the skin above them, that it actually manage to do enough damage to surrounding tissue that the skin above the implant dies and the implant becomes exposed ,once this process begins there's not lot that can be done about it other than removing the implant. -Pressure on Nerve and Muscle: When an implant is placed on top of muscle, nerves, or blood vessels, it has the potential to interfere with their functioning. To minimize the risk you have to be sure to tell the 3D artist if you are experiencing anything that can be related to it, this way the artist can change the positioning or the placement of the implant without harm you, in some cases the procedure has to be postponed or aborted. You should also strongly consider research about the kind of implant that you will get and the location of it so you can do it safely. There are also many other possible risks that can be associated with implants such as: Keloids, Implant surface contamination, Implant Biocompatibility, Implant Finishing, Lidocaine Toxicity, Anaesthetic allergy, Sub dermal Shifting, Mod before Client, Needle allergy, Adrenalin Excitement, Impact damage, Hypertrophy scarring, Abscess, Boils, Cancer, Blood loss, Shock, Bloodborne Pathogens Ok that is all for now guys, next week I will be writing about Surgical modification……And I can promise to you all that it will be a very, but a very interesting article….Until them, go have fun and enjoy life… Yes, I’m really trying to fix my karma thing……we never know what can happen tomorrow….. cheap penis enhancement pills best penis enlagement surgery free pnis enlargement video compare penis enlargement pill get vig rx vimax free penis enlargement pills vimax patch home penis enlarement

penis enlagement before and after

Most of these problems are usually related to using high dosage or individual genetics. For convenience we’ve divided the potential side effects into those experienced by men, women, and teenagers. Men - Although anabolic steroids are derived from the male sex hormone, testosterone, men who take them may actually experience a "feminization" side effect along with a decrease in normal male sexual function. This is because one of the metabolic breakdown products of testosterone is the female hormone, estrogen. Some possible anabolic steroid side effects in men include: Reduced sperm count Impotence Development of breasts Shrinking of the testicles Difficulty or pain while urinating Women – It’s not surprising that women who take the drugs may develop masculinizing effects. These include the following: Facial hair growth Deepened voice Breast reduction Menstrual cycle changes Clitoral enlargement Both sexes - With continued use of anabolic steroids, both sexes can experience the following anabolic steroid side effects, which range from the merely unsightly to the life-endangering. They include: Acne Water retention Rapid weight gain Clotting disorders Liver enzyme irregularities Elevated cholesterol levels Tendon damage from proportionally stronger muscles Mood swings Teenagers - anabolic steroid side effects can pose several serious health side effects in teens. Anabolic steroids have been known to fuse the growth centers (epiphyseal plates) in teens’ bones. Once these growth plates are closed, they cannot reopen so adolescents that abuse anabolic steroids may end up shorter than their natural genetic height. Anabolic steroids have also been known to cause severe mood swings. This could have severe consequences in many teens as this age group is characterized by naturally occurring behavioral changes. Although not conclusive, there have been a few cases where anabolic steroids may have contributed to suicide in a few teens. It’s because of these serious anabolic steroids side effects that teenagers should under no circumstances use these drugs. Are anabolic steroids addictive? Although the evidence is limited it is possible that addiction may be one of the most serious of anabolic steroids side effects. Recent evidence suggests that long-time users of anabolic steroids and steroid abusers may experience some of the classic characteristics of addiction including cravings, difficulty in stopping steroid use and withdrawal symptoms. As the research is limited, it’s not known if the symptoms of addiction are psychological or physiological in nature. For those who use anabolic steroids, coming off the “juice” can be very traumatic as they begin to lose muscular size and strength. This loss of a key component of their identity can leave them suffering many of the same symptoms and side effects as those using common street drugs. How to minimize the risk of anabolic steroid side effects Given that anabolic steroids are illegal in many countries, it’s probably a good idea to avoid them altogether. If you do decide to use them, the following tips will help you reduce the risk of side effects: Use oral steroids as sparingly as possible. They have been chemically modified to survive the digestive system and hence much harder on the liver. Never stay on a steroid cycle for more than 6 to 8 weeks. Never use any steroids that have a questionable manufacturing background. Beware of the blackmarket. At the first sign of any serious side effect (chest pain, blood in urine, etc), stop all steroids and see a physician. Article 02/01 2006 get vigrx natural pennis enlargement exercise penis enlarement before and after photo penis enlargment product pnis enlargement surgery pennis enlargement pills review natural penis enlarement pills penis enhancement pump penis enlagement before and after

Unhappy with their breast size and how they look, more and more girls under the age of 18 are undergoing expensive and dangerous breast implant surgery. As reported by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 3,841 young women 18 or younger underwent breast augmentation, a 24 percent jump from 3,095, a 19 percent increase from 2002. From coast to coast, and especially prevalent in Texas and California, breast implants are fast becoming the most popular new fad among teens looking to improve their looks and become more noticeable to the opposite sex. 'Breasts are a fashion item,' says Dr. Garry Brody, professor of plastic surgery at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. More and more teens regard this dangerous practice as nothing more than fun, willing to ignore the danger, side effects, and long term problems associated with breast implant surgery. Many teens regard the surgery as "just a fun thing to do," comparing it to having their hair or nails done, rather than the complicated, dangerous, and expensive surgical procedure it really is. Around holidays, spring break, graduation, and especially during the Christmas season, doctors begin to see the demand for implant surgery increase. Breast augmentation has become so popular among teens, that many parents are now offering the surgery as a Sweet 16 or high school graduation gift, sometimes paying upwards of $10,000 for breast enlargement. Even though in 2000 the Food and Drug Administration approved saline implants for women 18 or older, its recommendation is only advisory, because unlike medications, breast implants are not regulated by them. However, silicone-gel implants are not approved for marketing, available to women only through FDA approved clinical studies. Throwing caution to the wind, teens are unwilling to treat implant surgery with the seriousness it deserves, acknowledging the risks and permanent changes they're making to their bodies and appearance. And unfortunately those risks far outweigh the advantages to having larger, fuller breasts, especially at such a young age, when most teen's bodies aren’t even fully developed yet. Most teens don't want sensible advice thrown at them, though, especially if they're flat-chested girls still in the process of developing. Unfortunately at that age, teen girls have the worst self and body image. When they look through magazines and see voluptuous models with large, full breasts on every page, they want to look just like that, the consequences be damned. And there are always consequences to breast implant surgery, some serious, some not, but one thing is for sure, their bodies will be forever changed. And the saddest thing is that once the surgery is completed, it can't be undone. They're stuck with facing, what for some of these young girls, will end up being a lifetime of regret. Everything from severe asymmetry to life threatening complications and illness can occur with implant surgery. Other risks include complications from anesthesia, excessive bleeding and infection, to name just a few. Also, over time the implants can rupture or deflate, requiring more surgery, along with capsular contracture the tightening of scar tissue around the implant, a common complication following breast augmentation. Fortunately today there are other safer, all natural remedies, and alternatives to increasing breast size available on the market that can be just as effective, with none of the side effects or dangers involved with implant surgery. If they're willing to take the time to look around, women and teens can have the larger, fuller breasts they want, without risking their lives to have it. vimax top rated penis enlargement pills manual pennis enlargement buy place vig rx compare penis enlagement pills cheapest penis elargement pills truth about penile enlargement pills com enlarement penis penis pump top rated penis enlargement pills penis enlagement before and after

With an ex-Presidential candidate as its pitchman, more mentions on late-night talk shows than Joan Embry and the dubious honor of being the world’s top pharmaceutical treatment for impotence, few drugs in history have been more in the public eye more than Viagra – or gotten more attention for affecting the public's eyes. Along with its impact below the belt, Viagra (Sildenafil Citrate) is well-documented to cause retinal dysfunction lasting several hours after it is taken. Most commonly, it causes increased light sensitivity, blurring, and a bluish tint or haze to vision in many men who take the medication. Since receiving FDA approval in March 1998, Viagra has been prescribed more than 22 million times in the U.S. alone and is available in 90 other countries, according to manufacturer Pfizer. Here’s what you need know about Viagra and your vision: Who is most likely to get ocular side effects? Viagra is available in three prescribed doses – 25, 50 and 100 mg pills. Side effects are usually dose-related, meaning the greater the dosage, the greater the risk. According to reports by Pfizer and subsequent studies, ocular side effects occur in: About 3 percent of men taking doses of 25-50 mg About 11 percent taking 100 mg doses About 50 percent of men taking 200 mg Nearly all men taking 600 to 800 mg. Why does Viagra cause vision changes? Viagra is effective on erectile dysfunction because it inhibits phosphodiesterase 5 (PDE-5), an enzyme that enhances the effects of nitric oxide, which is released during sexual stimulation to relax the smooth muscle of the penis and facilitate blood inflow. However, the drug also has a milder inhibiting effect on PDE-6, an enzyme actively present in retinal photoreceptors. This causes an increase in the concentration of cyclicGMP, resulting in a depolarization of the rod cell – and increased light sensitivity and the infamous "blue vision." When do side effects occur? The side effects are short-lived and generally peak within 1-2 hours after the drug is taken. What is the long-term vision damage? Hard to say, since the drug has been on the market for only a few years. So far, no long-term retinal damage has been reported, but then again, long-term electroretinograms (ERG) have not been done, says Michael F. Marmor, MD, a Stanford retinal specialist who has published studies on the ophthalmic effects of Viagra. He believes the drug could conceivably result in lasting damage to photoreceptors, so he recommends that you avoid it if you have macular degeneration, diabetic retinopathy, retinitis pigmentosa or other retinal disease. (Meanwhile, Viagra's own label issues warnings to patients with existing AMD or retinitis pigmentosa because they were not studied in past clinical trials.) surgical penis enhancement manual penis enlarement exercise pnis enlargement before and after picture penis enlagement excersizes medical pnis enlargement surgical pnis enlargement penis enlagement pic before and after penis enhancement cream penis enlagement before and after

The Forest As we drove farther into the outskirts of Augsburg, looking out placidly across the top of cars, houses, and at the dogs running about, I got thinking, thinking how I felt being with Chris, about Chris. It was like I was cast into a spell, an enchantment, or perhaps a curse; very seldom did I ever feel like this. Normally I would feel like this only if I was in the presence of a great person, like my karate instructor in San Francisco, Gosei Yamauchi, or his father ‘The Cat’ Gogan, who was one of the few 10th degree black belts in the world. Normally I’d be high the whole next day. With Chris I felt the same way I knew tomorrow I’d be high all day, it was a natural high. Once—I can’t remember when—I had read something about the poet Emily Dickinson, she was something like a recluse, but she made a poem indicating nature was her high, and I always remember that. How true this can be, grabbing the moment and cherishing it, absorbing it as if there was no tomorrow, and at the same time absorbing nature: the sounds and the heart beat mother earth, and sky; others humans, and the dogs and birds, all such things that at that moment surround you; they are all somewhat magical. I was learning, how to be a listener if anything and it entailed all things within your presence. Chris was fully alive now, as I turned my head towards her delectation her steering wheel facing me, at which made the moment a little more interesting, as she felt good about me checking her out; a weary kind of sense, not defeat, just a good profile look; I thought dimly in my mind as she drove mile after mile: how could she afford to look so prim and proper all the time. Do her hair in a unique style, not a hair out of place, so it seemed. I guess in our own way we are all unique, I heard that someone say that someplace, not sure where. An hour and a half had passed on by and she was still driving, and it was getting dark. She pulled into a wooded area; she said it was the outer rim of the Black Forest (otherwise known as the Eyebrow of the Woods), I think I heard of that forest in a fairytale book or at least that is where my mind said I got it from. An enchanting name, I must had said it my second self, that little person inside of all of us that we talk to: Black Forest, Black Forest…! “So you see,” said Chris “…here we are!” She added her conclusive little smile to her face as she said that; as we entered the dark huge green forest, parking the car a little off to the side of a dirt road that lead into the deeper and more distant part of the forest, partly covered by trees and bushes now. There was a chill in the air so I rolled up the window, as she turned on the radio for some music. Very quickly and carefully she moved her thin reserved neck and shoulders into my area, she just starred at me, as if she was going to eat me up; as her left arm was lowered, it pulled out a bottle of Mosel-Saar-Ruwer wine, 1965 wine, -- I looked the bottle over 9.5% volume; I knew they had been making wine around this intriguing river and hilly area for close to 1700-years. It was good wine I had tasted it before, not sweat or dry, flowerily white wine to be exact. “Now,” said Chris indignantly, but with the air of a certain point, “…let’s see what we can do with this battle. We started to drink and laugh. “Ah, yes,” I said to her, “you have a lovely profile.” She smiled and threw her head back. “Well,” I thought out loud “… this is a good way to pass the night away, and begin romantic indecencies”-- she leaned over the center-divider of the bucket seats to kiss me. She opened her mouth, sunk her lips on mine, as she pulled her long legs to the under-part of the dash, she then started to unzip her zipper to her boots. “This,” commented Chris “passes everything…I never did it in a car before.” She had drunk down 1/5 of the wine like a person drinking water. “Chick,” said Chris, ”…come over here.” I moved my body closer to hers. Everything seemed to be in the way. I could not back out of whatever was going to happen; and I knew what was in the makings. She was starting to stretch her hands out: --her blouse went over her head, I just kept looking as she started to strip, I was growing, getting as hard as a pencil. “Oh, damn Chick,” said Chris heartily as she touched my item. Just her saying that aroused me; then pulling off her bra, and her skirt up I seemed to become tranquilized somehow, my mind slipped to King Solomon, of all things, as he once defined the beauty of a woman’s body and how it was to measured for one’s pleasure by enjoying it fully, and this was all I wanted to do now—enjoy it, and I think Chris was feeling the same way for even though we were both a bit on the tipsy side we were fully aware of our responses, I had lost complete focus of the uncomfortable situation, as she did… ◊…now that she was almost completely stripped only her panties on, she curled up in a fetus position holding her legs and leaning back, then opened up her legs slowly… I thought what every on earth possessed her, yet who can predict women I told myself, and started to take off my cloths, quickly…getting out of this spill of sorts. I guess it is true, men like to observe, and women like to touch. I liked both. This was not dirty sex, this was pure sex, at its height, one might even say, it was like a painting; she painted the picture, she taught me how to enjoy what she had to offer. “I’m going to get it all off in a minute,” I said, it was difficult working in this cramped space… she chuckled, “Slowly please, I can wait…”she softly said as she rested her head back and I caught my breath, that is what she wanted, that is, for me to calm down, yet remain hard and possessed with her offering: I think we both had multiorgasms “I feel fine now –“ I said, adding, “cramped but fine…☺” Chris opened up her arms I couldn’t back away after that, could I? I told myself: I have a private room at the barracks…. Then said it out loud to her: “Of course, -- next time…” said she, and we continued to make love for the third orgasm for me, for her, perhaps five or six. We seemed to flop around the front seat finding the right position…’she‘s looking at me eeeeeeeee’, I told myself, I’m cramped, nothing to grab a hold of, her head leaning against the glass of the window. Without a word we continued: --my body heavy onto hers, my heart beating two-hundred ticks a minute, we both were hot, enmeshed in the moment, a lustful, and burning moment; I wanted to open the door, but feared the light going on and someone would see us, plus the air was cool, too cool. I had no escape we met each other’s eyes as I penetrated her. She looked again deep into my eyes as she tried to catch her breath, to make sure I was still alive I think. It was seemingly unfair for me to put her through this I thought, but the thought only lasted a half second, I found myself exploding … as my heart dropped to my feet, and again, and again, I exploded and burned as if I had opened myself up to a volcano; I had learned at that moment, the difference between happiness and pressure: happiness was listening to her talk before, and then came her smile, now the pleasure, sex; I hurt, this had never happened before. “Nice evening, isn’t it?” I said as I started pulling her body closer to me. “I hope you are not offended I am taking the lead?” said Chris. “Not at all,” I said, adding, “I’ll catch up.” “There are times,” said Chris, “when rules are made to be broken like now, them...mmm damn silly rules…” she pulled herself up a bit, “I stopped believing in those rules… this is one of those moments I want to remember…remember for a long time, even after I am dead.” As we tried to untwist our bodies, we caught ourselves laughing at our odd situation. We had made love, and became a little more sensitive with each other…a little more possessive of each other, I guess that is the nature of things in a relationship, they are made to progress, or stop, one or the other, and it was never to take place again in the front seat of a Mustang I knew…. She laid her cheek against my hand. “Chick.” “Yes?” “You realize don’t you, this can’t end here?” “There’s no reason for it to end, is there?” “No.” She spoke some German words I didn’t understand, German mingled with English I should say: then somehow, she went silent…maybe she was taking time to remember the moment, digesting it; I didn’t know, nor did I want to try to guess, I just looked at her, her smile it seemed to promise something, grace; instinct was in it also, around her small enclosed eyes, as they opened and shut slowly they were weaving a web I do believe, “It won’t end here, I promise.” Pleasant and agreeable-like a well-cultured woman she was, maybe too much for me, she opened the door, and dressed quickly, then got back in. “Want a cigarette?” I asked, sitting up straight. “No and neither do you. We are both restless it seems. Come over to me,” she started kissing me. As she released her lips from mine, she sat upright now, pulled out a cigarette, lit it and started blowing smoke rings into the air. “You know perfectly well, I’m very much attracted to you…yoouuuu… right?” “I hope so, I feel the some way.” “Luckily the wine deadens the bruises (discoloration).” I commented, she laughed and kind of stretched her back to put it back in place…”Me to,” she replied. “I wish all relationships could start like ours, it is like saying let’s drop all the game playing and pretend we are on the fifth date, and cut the crap; I like you Chick, I like you very much…” “The bruises will show up tomorrow,” I told Chris. Kind of saying maybe we should go, but neither one of us seemed to be all that bothered with that so we simply started kissing again after her cigarette brake…it was a long and needed pause for me, for a second breathe, a refractory period I needed [from uninterrupted sex]; that is, having multiple orgasms drains a man. I’ve learned also, women don’t need this rest period; so in time I’d learn how to last longer, and perhaps stretch the orgasms thinner but again, longer (three hours at the most; and I did). I thought in my head, she was having sex with me, and then that rich boyfriend she had; she was getting her multiorgasmic pleasures indeed, perhaps a secret to some women, for once they discover this, it is hard for any man to keep up with them, lest he be a superman of sorts. I did not even at that young age have the capacity to pass six organisms; five was my limit I learned. I was limp now; my penis had been as pointed as a scorpions tail a while ago. As scary as it started out for me I thought my reactions afterwards was cool, I seemed to be letting things take their natural course. It was a dark and colorless evening. Grossly romanticized in such an unimpressive way (so I thought in the back of my mind), yet Miss Chris was perfect. I thought to myself: maybe she might be annoyed with my lovemaking… I guess every man wants to please the woman, wife, girlfriend, the one he is making love to, or should want to please her, but most don’t; how can they, they pop too quickly. This is a fact, I’ve talked to men, and when they say they go so quick, no woman could get it on in that time period. A woman taught me how to hold myself from climaxing too early, thus allowing the woman to catch up—and therefore, allowing my female mate to get it on and enjoy. I know this evening went a little fast, but Chris was modest about it, like that other woman who had taught me, helped me, to help her, so we both could enjoy each other more; as my slowing down kept my penis hard longer, allowing her pleasure zone to become wider. This was something of the case in hand, but not completely. Most men think they make love better drinking, but it’s far from the truth. Most men do not know how to make love, no one taught them, so all they do is f*ck, and that is not love, that is, if anything, a quick climax, like eating a big fat burger, and wiping your mouth in its enjoyment and then leaving the café only to find out: you got indigestion, and had you went to a nicer restaurant, ate slower, you’d never forget the meal. I have experimented with that theory, and it is nine-minutes verse four-hours, I say four hours, but I knew in my head it was only one time I lasted four hours, two and a half was the norm. I was thinking now—as Chris kissed me—how I owe some women a bit of gratitude for allowing me to have my pleasure and not returning it to them; that’s the caretaker in a woman I think. But women just don’t know men can learn. And men are too bull-headed to let women teach them what pleases them. I had learned a good lover was worth his weight in gold and even maybe a little more: sometimes they can be irresistible. One could hardly tell her it wasn’t hastily done, our sex (to me it was) for it was, but she seemed to understand the circumstances, and we need not prove anything today, only allow our bodies to be sanctioned to the other. So I think we both felt. Lovemaking would improve as time went on. “I’m afraid my lover, we will have to find better accommodations next time,” Chris said, smiling at me. “Yes,” I hesitated, “absently,” I hesitated-- “I feel the same way.” “It’s a little hard in such a cramped car luckily we are both a little tipsy….” “I’m afraid I’m not, somehow I sobered up when you took your blouse off.” She smiled, with a grin. “Yes. I sense you have, do you really like me Chick?” “You are growing on me. And what is there not to like?” She was like a schoolgirl at times, needing to be encouraged, to grow up, and needed to be admired. But she didn’t need permission to live, she was taking that—but I’m learning to appreciate women more, I told myself, and it seems the more I show appreciation, the more they respect me, and to be quite frank with myself, I need respect. And why not … the world will give it, if you demand it, and if not, let that part of the world go; so my second self, my mind’s eye, told me. But then as I looked at her, if she really felt she was on death row, with cancer, maybe I was just a remedy for a while, and if so, so what, maybe I needed a remedy to make it through my time here in Germany; so seemed just to me. 8 The Spider and The Web A warm-wind had picked up it seemed, and April and May in Germany was a paradise of light-cool sunrays, it was a spring never to forget, Chris and I were growing on one another, like white on rice. More community drinking fairs were picking up and Chris and I tried to make a few, drink it up and eat and just go with the flow; it was a good time for living. Chris and I were known throughout the guardhouse-barracks as lovers and a heat wave at that. She seemed to have a charm with my soldier friends, and often drove her German boyfriend’s Mercedes car to the gate, and about, showing off kind of, not only to me, but it seemed at times going out of her way to show it to the other guards. Most of my friends thought she had two cars, I simply did not up date them, if they were not in my way of thinking or inner circle—why squander my time; and in most cases they didn’t have a need to know; but Ski and a few other of my friends knew the truth. I felt: plus, I felt: why not let Chris make an impression at the guard shacks, if it helps her ego so be it. I do not think I was envious, rather amused. I’m sure somewhere along the line I’d have to deal with envy, but who at my age is envious, for what, I have a lifetime to catch up. She flirted with the guards, and they all thought it cool. At night, if I had to work, she would bring me by a sandwich while on duty; in one way she got the guys a little jealous, or in lack of a better word, annoyed. And sometimes she would simply walk into barracks, which had about fifteen-guards some running around half naked from the shower room to their room, while others went visiting. She’d come knocking on my door. She’d spend the night with me, it was an improvement from the car, and for some reason we only went over to her house once in the following two months. I knew we were not fooling anyone at the guard-barracks, but we pretended to be secret about it anyway.