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66% persons use Viagra in sex. 83% of Viagra users have sex at-least once after using the drug for a few weeks. 50% of men don’t refill their Viagra prescription. More than 20 million men around the world use it regularly. In the U.S., one out of every five men over 40 has tried it. On an average nine Viagra pills are dispensed every second. You can find numerous stories, internet searches, jokes also, saying Viagra, Viagra, Viagra. What more could anyone possibly need to know about Viagra? We all know what it does, how it does and what it helps men do. But, what about the real Viagra experience? Nobody has ever talked on taking Viagra – Viagra Experience. Here I will be discussing some questions relating to Viagra Experience. What Happens When a Man First Takes a Viagra Pill? Absolutely nothing!!! The nothingness is so intense that the most common reaction one experiences is a slight panic that the drug isn't going to work. Although, you may not feel anything but, the things are happening in the body. As the pill moves into the bloodstream, it starts blocking the enzyme called PDE-5, which eventually increases blood flow to penis. How Do Men Get It to Start Working? Viagra gets the blood flowing, but your brain has to be in the mood as well. The biggest misperception is this that it changes your psychology and makes you want sex. But, it is not so. How does Viagra affects the virility of a person? It might effect the person’s virility. It is under research as to whether taking a small dose of Viagra every night works to stave off impotence, just as aspirin. Does Viagra Work for Everyone? No. Half the people who try it don't refill the prescription. Men who are regular users of Viagra say the pill has been a life-changing experience. What Happens if You Take Viagra and You Don't Really Need It? For some users it may be uncomfortable, while for some others it may make things much easier. What Happens If a Woman Takes Viagra? Viagra can cause a noticeable sensation in women. Viagra gets the blood flowing to the genitals in women. So for women who have difficulty achieving orgasm, vaginal dryness or a lack of sensation, arousal or engorgement, Viagra may help. Viagra can treat psychologically based ED, ED in men with vascular disease, men suffering from depression, hypertension, diabetes, ischemic heart disease and in men who have their prostate removed. Levitra and Cialis work the same way as Viagra, blocking the same enzyme. Though it's unlikely any one works better than the other, slight chemical differences mean that if one brand doesn't work for a patient, another one might. Viagra’s use can prevent impotence – The fact is far from proven. Meanwhile, it's worth noting that the best way to prevent impotence is to keep yourself healthy by preventing veins from clogging up in the first place. Don't smoke, eat healthy foods, lose weight and lower your cholesterol. do penis enlargment pills really work penis enlargment before and after best penis enlargment homemade pnis enlargement enargement forum free matter penis size top rated penis elargement pills vigrx penis enlargment pill penis enlargement procedure

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Most people have certainly been hearing this term, lymphoma, from others. Some hospital-drama television series usually would have an episode where a patient is diagnosed with lymphoma and most of us are just left hanging on what it really is. Suffice it to say that probably, most are aware that it is a kind of cancer. Cancer in what organ or body part? Caused by what? Many people fall short of enough knowledge about this type of cancer. But no worries, they really can't be accused of apathy. Lymphoma is actually a very rare type of cancer so it is understandable that awareness on is not as prevalent as to other cancer types. Lymphoma is considered as a collective term for a variety of cancer. This cancer type has its origin in the lymphocytes or histiocytes -- very rare from the latter, though. Lymphoma starts in a B cell in lymph nodes. The cancerous cells reproduce themselves over and over again. The presence of these unnecessary cells sets the ground for the formation of cancer. This is because these cells do not die; they are not needed by the body in the first place, and they spread to other areas, causing further harm. There are five clusters of specific cancer types under the umbrella concept of lymphoma. The World Health Organization grouped these specific cancer types according to their cell types. The first one is the mature B neoplasms. Second is mature T cell and natural killer cell (NK) neoplasms. Third is the immunodeficiency-associated Lymphoproliferative disorders. Fourth is histiocytic and dendritic cell neoplasms. Last is Hodgkin lymphoma or more commonly known as Hodgkin's disease. The most popular of all is the Hodgkin's disease. It is named after Thomas Hodgkin, who described the disease in 1832. Hodgkin's disease is characterized by the abnormal growth of cancer cells in the lymphatic system. Specifically, the Reed-Sternberg cells are the ones involved in Hodgkin's disease. This disease is very rare that it accounts for only one percent of the total cancer cases or one for every 400,000, at least in America. The most common symptoms of Hodgkin's disease are swollen, painful or non-painful lymph nodes. The swelling usually occurs at the neck or nape, armpit, or groin. Some systemic symptoms like drastic weight loss, skin itching, low-grade fever, night sweats, and fatigue can also be indicative of a Hodgkin's disease case. Enlargement of the spleen, splenomegaly, and/or enlargement of the liver can also happen. People from the age range of 15 to 34, and above 55 are the ones most susceptible to develop Hodgkin's disease. Just like the other kinds of cancer, the causes of Hodgkin's disease is still unknown. But the factor most likely to contribute to the development of it is genetics. People who have relatives, distant or immediate, have been inflicted with Hodgkin's disease or other types for that matter, are at a very high risk. A deteriorated or damaged immune system, from a previous ailment or operation, is also a very high risk factor. Gender is believed to play a role, too, since most recorded cases are with men. Radiation therapy and chemotherapy are the usual treatments for Hodgkin's disease. Radiation therapy is a high technology option, which makes use of high-energy rays capable of damaging cancer cells to stop their growth. This treatment option is administered only in hospitals and clinics, and under the permission of an expert doctor. Radiation therapy is effective for treating cases still on the early stage. A frequency of five therapy sessions in every week for several months is the average treatment period using radiation therapy. Chemotherapy, on the other hand, involves the use of drugs to kill the cancer cells. A combination of different drugs, which can work together, is the usual procedure being given by doctors when using chemotherapy. The drugs can be taken orally, or injected into arteries or even muscles for faster travel inside the body. The most popular drug combination for chemotherapy is the adriamycin, bleomycin, vinblastine, and dacarbazine combination called the ABVD regimen. There is a very high chance that Hodgkin's can be treated, provided that it is detected at an early stage and treated immediately with the most appropriate treatment option. Records have it that early detection and appropriate treatment gives an 85 percent chance of survival and cure. penile enlargement cream free exercise tip for penile enlargment best penile enlargement surgery vimax com enlargement penis penis pump vimax penis enlargement vimax penis enlargement surgeon free penis enlagement exercise penis enlargment testimonials penis enlarement patch

What could possibly be worse than struggling with a painful condition and feeling ashamed to discuss the problem because of its intimate nature? Such is the case for many suffering with pudendal neuralgia, a little known disease that affects one of the most sensitive areas of the body. This area is innervated by the pudendal nerve, named after the Latin word for shame. Due to the location of the discomfort combined with inadequate knowledge, some physicians make reference to the pain as psychological. But nothing could be further from the truth. Unfortunately, discussing the condition with gynecologists, urologists and neurologists often proves fruitless since most know nothing about the condition and therefore cannot diagnose it. Pudendal neuralgia is a chronic and painful condition that occurs in both men and women, although studies reveal that about two-thirds of those with the disease are women. The primary symptom is pain in the genitals or the anal-rectal area and the immense discomfort is usually worse when sitting. The pain tends to move around in the pelvic area and can occur on one or both sides of the body. Sufferers describe the pain as burning, knife-like or aching, stabbing, pinching, twisting and even numbness. These symptoms are usually accompanied by urinary problems, bowel problems and sexual dysfunction. Because the pudendal nerve is responsible for sexual pleasure and is one of the primary nerves related to orgasm, sexual activity is extremely painful, if not impossible for many pudendalites. When this nerve becomes damaged, irritated, or entrapped, and pudendal neuralgia sets in, life loses most of its pleasure. So, where exactly is the pudendal nerve? It lies deep in the pelvis and follows a path that comes from the sacral area and later separates into three branches, one going to the anal-rectal area, one to the perineum, and one to the penis or clitoris. Since there are slight anatomic variations with each person, a patient’s symptoms can depend on which of the branches are affected, although often all three branches are involved. The fact that the pudendal nerve carries sensory, motor, and autonomic signals adds to the variety of symptoms that can be exhibited. Because pudendal neuralgia is uncommon and can be similar to other diseases, it is often misdiagnosed, leading some to have inappropriate and unnecessary surgery. Early in the diagnosis process, it is crucially important to undergo an MRI of the lumbar-sacral and pelvic regions to determine that no tumors or cysts are pressing on the nerve. In addition, the patient should be screened for possible infections or immune diseases, as well as having an evaluation by a pelvic floor physical therapist to determine the health of the pelvic floor muscles and to uncover whether skeletal alignment abnormalities exist. An accurate patient history is needed to assess whether there has been a trauma or an injury to the nerve from surgery, childbirth, or exercise. Tests that offer additional diagnostic clues include sensory testing, the pudendal nerve motor latency test, and electromyography. A nerve block that provides several hours of relief is another tool that helps to determine if the pudendal nerve is the source of pain. One of the most common symptoms that accompanies pudendal neuralgia is severe depression. Some people with the disease have committed suicide due to the intractable pain. For that reason, it is important to consider antidepressants, as they can help lessen the hypersensitivity of the genital area in addition to relieving bladder problems. Certain anti-seizure drugs reportedly help to alleviate neuropathic pain while anti-anxiety drugs provide substantial relief of muscle spasms and assist with sleeping. Uninformed physicians are reluctant to prescribe opiates for an illness that shows no visible abnormality, yet the desperate nature of genital nerve pain requires that opiates be prescribed for these patients. While medications are not always satisfactory, they do help take the edge off of the pain for many people. Until the correct treatment is determined, it is imperative that patients with pudendal neuralgia receive adequate pain management since the pain associated with this illness can be intense. Treatment depends on the cause of distress to the nerve. When the cause is not obvious patients are advised to try the least invasive and least risky therapies initially. Physical therapy that includes myofascial release and trigger point therapy internally through the vagina or rectum assists with relaxing of the pelvic floor, especially if pelvic floor dysfunction is the cause of nerve irritation. If no improvement is found after six to twelve sessions, nerve damage or nerve entrapment might be considered.Botox is now used in medical settings to relax muscles and shows promise when injected into pelvic floor muscles; though finding a physician adept at this treatment is difficult.Pudendal nerve blocks using a long-acting analgesic and a steroid can reduce the nerve inflammation and are usually given in a series of three injections four to six weeks apart. If physical therapy, Botox, and nerve injections fail to provide adequate relief, some patients opt for pudendal nerve decompression surgery. There are three published approaches to pudendal nerve decompression surgery but there is debate among members of the pudendal nerve entrapment community as to which approach is the best. Since there are advantages and disadvantages to each approach, patients face considerable confusion when deciding which type of surgery to choose. Because there are only a handful of surgeons in the world who perform these surgeries, most patients have to travel long distances for help. Moreover, the recovery period is often painful and takes anywhere from six months to several years since nerves heal very slowly. Unfortunately, early statistics indicate that only 60 to 80 percent of surgeries are successful in offering at least a 50 percent improvement. Patients whose surgeries are not successful or who do not wish to pursue surgery have the option of trying an intrathecal pain pump which delivers pain medication locally and helps to avoid some of the side effects of oral medications. Others pursue the option of a neurostimulator either to the sacral area or directly to the pudendal nerves. These are relatively new therapies for pudendal neuralgia so it is difficult to predict success rates. Some pudendalites have devised ingenious contraptions for pain relief ranging from u-shaped cushions cut from garden pads all the way to balloons filled with water, frozen, and inserted into the vagina. Most have a favorite cushion for sitting and many have special computer set-ups for home and office use in order to avoid sitting. Generally speaking, jeans are a no-no, so patients revise their wardrobes to include baggy pants and baggy underwear – if they are able to tolerate wearing underwear. Clearly more research is required to find effective methods to better manage the pain and debilitation of pudendal neuralgia. But in the meantime, friends and family close to those who have this devastating illness play a huge role in helping patients cope, thereby maintaining the best quality of life possible. Support, love and understanding are of primary importance for those suffering with this affliction. penile enlargment cream penis enlarement operation natural penis enlarement penis enhancement doctor cheap penis enlargement pills vimax penis pillss in uk penis enlagement surgeries penis enlargement result penis enlarement patch

Hemorrhoids or piles are ugly faces of an ailment. The condition of varicosity or swelling and inflammation of veins in the rectum and anus is known as hemorrhoids. It is also known as ‘haemorrhoids’ or piles. The two most common types of hemorrhoids are external hemorrhoids and internal hemorrhoids. External hemorrhoids: External hemorrhoids occur outside at the lateral end of the anal canal, on the anal verge. They are sometimes painful, and can be accompanied by swelling and irritation. Itching, due to skin irritation, is considered a common symptom of external hemorrhoids. The hemorrhoid becomes a thrombosed hemorrhoid if the vein ruptures and a blood clot develops. Internal hemorrhoids: Internal hemorrhoids occur inside the rectum. They are usually not painful, and most people aren’t aware that they have them. Internal hemorrhoids may bleed when irritated. If not treated, internal hemorrhoids may lead to the more severe forms of hemorrhoids - prolapsed hemorrhoids and strangulated hemorrhoids. • Prolapsed hemorrhoids: Internal hemorrhoids become so expanded or swollen that they get pushed outside of the anus. • Strangulated hemorrhoid: The anal sphincter muscle spasms and traps a prolapsed hemorrhoid outside of the anal opening. The supply of blood is cut off, and the hemorrhoid then becomes a strangulated hemorrhoid. Causes of Hemorrhoids or Piles: The major cause of hemorrhoids results from weak rectal vein walls and/or valves. The following are some other hemorrhoids causes: • Constipation • Chronic diarrhea • Straining during bowel movements • Postponing bowel movements • Poor bathroom habits; sitting for unusually long periods of time, e.g. reading on the toilet or excessive cleaning attempts. • Pregnancy • Fiber-deprived diet can also contribute. • Insufficient hydration: drinking less water or drinking too much of diuretic liquids such as coffee or colas can cause a hard stool that can lead to hemorrhoid irritation. • Tumors in the pelvis also cause enlargement of hemorrhoids by pressing on veins draining upwards from the anal canal. • An excess of lactic acid in the stool: a product of excessive consumption of milk products such as cheese can cause irritation and a reduction of consumption can bring relief. • Too much pressure on the rectal veins due to poor posture or muscle tone; obesity and a sedentary lifestyle may cause hemorrhoids. Prevalence: Hemorrhoids commonly occur in both sexes, but only 4% of the general population experience the problem. Hemorrhoids are a common occurrence between 45 and 65 years of age. Approximately one half of all Americans are estimated to have this condition by the age of 50, but only a small number undertake medical treatment. About 500,000 people are medically treated for hemorrhoids annually, with 10 to 20% of them requiring surgeries. manual penis enlargement free penile enlargment video cheap pennis enlargement pills penis enlarement product penis enlargement surgery free penis enlarement exercise buy pennis enlargement pills vigrx penis enlarement patch

The Forest As we drove farther into the outskirts of Augsburg, looking out placidly across the top of cars, houses, and at the dogs running about, I got thinking, thinking how I felt being with Chris, about Chris. It was like I was cast into a spell, an enchantment, or perhaps a curse; very seldom did I ever feel like this. Normally I would feel like this only if I was in the presence of a great person, like my karate instructor in San Francisco, Gosei Yamauchi, or his father ‘The Cat’ Gogan, who was one of the few 10th degree black belts in the world. Normally I’d be high the whole next day. With Chris I felt the same way I knew tomorrow I’d be high all day, it was a natural high. Once—I can’t remember when—I had read something about the poet Emily Dickinson, she was something like a recluse, but she made a poem indicating nature was her high, and I always remember that. How true this can be, grabbing the moment and cherishing it, absorbing it as if there was no tomorrow, and at the same time absorbing nature: the sounds and the heart beat mother earth, and sky; others humans, and the dogs and birds, all such things that at that moment surround you; they are all somewhat magical. I was learning, how to be a listener if anything and it entailed all things within your presence. Chris was fully alive now, as I turned my head towards her delectation her steering wheel facing me, at which made the moment a little more interesting, as she felt good about me checking her out; a weary kind of sense, not defeat, just a good profile look; I thought dimly in my mind as she drove mile after mile: how could she afford to look so prim and proper all the time. Do her hair in a unique style, not a hair out of place, so it seemed. I guess in our own way we are all unique, I heard that someone say that someplace, not sure where. An hour and a half had passed on by and she was still driving, and it was getting dark. She pulled into a wooded area; she said it was the outer rim of the Black Forest (otherwise known as the Eyebrow of the Woods), I think I heard of that forest in a fairytale book or at least that is where my mind said I got it from. An enchanting name, I must had said it my second self, that little person inside of all of us that we talk to: Black Forest, Black Forest…! “So you see,” said Chris “…here we are!” She added her conclusive little smile to her face as she said that; as we entered the dark huge green forest, parking the car a little off to the side of a dirt road that lead into the deeper and more distant part of the forest, partly covered by trees and bushes now. There was a chill in the air so I rolled up the window, as she turned on the radio for some music. Very quickly and carefully she moved her thin reserved neck and shoulders into my area, she just starred at me, as if she was going to eat me up; as her left arm was lowered, it pulled out a bottle of Mosel-Saar-Ruwer wine, 1965 wine, -- I looked the bottle over 9.5% volume; I knew they had been making wine around this intriguing river and hilly area for close to 1700-years. It was good wine I had tasted it before, not sweat or dry, flowerily white wine to be exact. “Now,” said Chris indignantly, but with the air of a certain point, “…let’s see what we can do with this battle. We started to drink and laugh. “Ah, yes,” I said to her, “you have a lovely profile.” She smiled and threw her head back. “Well,” I thought out loud “… this is a good way to pass the night away, and begin romantic indecencies”-- she leaned over the center-divider of the bucket seats to kiss me. She opened her mouth, sunk her lips on mine, as she pulled her long legs to the under-part of the dash, she then started to unzip her zipper to her boots. “This,” commented Chris “passes everything…I never did it in a car before.” She had drunk down 1/5 of the wine like a person drinking water. “Chick,” said Chris, ”…come over here.” I moved my body closer to hers. Everything seemed to be in the way. I could not back out of whatever was going to happen; and I knew what was in the makings. She was starting to stretch her hands out: --her blouse went over her head, I just kept looking as she started to strip, I was growing, getting as hard as a pencil. “Oh, damn Chick,” said Chris heartily as she touched my item. Just her saying that aroused me; then pulling off her bra, and her skirt up I seemed to become tranquilized somehow, my mind slipped to King Solomon, of all things, as he once defined the beauty of a woman’s body and how it was to measured for one’s pleasure by enjoying it fully, and this was all I wanted to do now—enjoy it, and I think Chris was feeling the same way for even though we were both a bit on the tipsy side we were fully aware of our responses, I had lost complete focus of the uncomfortable situation, as she did… ◊…now that she was almost completely stripped only her panties on, she curled up in a fetus position holding her legs and leaning back, then opened up her legs slowly… I thought what every on earth possessed her, yet who can predict women I told myself, and started to take off my cloths, quickly…getting out of this spill of sorts. I guess it is true, men like to observe, and women like to touch. I liked both. This was not dirty sex, this was pure sex, at its height, one might even say, it was like a painting; she painted the picture, she taught me how to enjoy what she had to offer. “I’m going to get it all off in a minute,” I said, it was difficult working in this cramped space… she chuckled, “Slowly please, I can wait…”she softly said as she rested her head back and I caught my breath, that is what she wanted, that is, for me to calm down, yet remain hard and possessed with her offering: I think we both had multiorgasms “I feel fine now –“ I said, adding, “cramped but fine…☺” Chris opened up her arms I couldn’t back away after that, could I? I told myself: I have a private room at the barracks…. Then said it out loud to her: “Of course, -- next time…” said she, and we continued to make love for the third orgasm for me, for her, perhaps five or six. We seemed to flop around the front seat finding the right position…’she‘s looking at me eeeeeeeee’, I told myself, I’m cramped, nothing to grab a hold of, her head leaning against the glass of the window. Without a word we continued: --my body heavy onto hers, my heart beating two-hundred ticks a minute, we both were hot, enmeshed in the moment, a lustful, and burning moment; I wanted to open the door, but feared the light going on and someone would see us, plus the air was cool, too cool. I had no escape we met each other’s eyes as I penetrated her. She looked again deep into my eyes as she tried to catch her breath, to make sure I was still alive I think. It was seemingly unfair for me to put her through this I thought, but the thought only lasted a half second, I found myself exploding … as my heart dropped to my feet, and again, and again, I exploded and burned as if I had opened myself up to a volcano; I had learned at that moment, the difference between happiness and pressure: happiness was listening to her talk before, and then came her smile, now the pleasure, sex; I hurt, this had never happened before. “Nice evening, isn’t it?” I said as I started pulling her body closer to me. “I hope you are not offended I am taking the lead?” said Chris. “Not at all,” I said, adding, “I’ll catch up.” “There are times,” said Chris, “when rules are made to be broken like now, them...mmm damn silly rules…” she pulled herself up a bit, “I stopped believing in those rules… this is one of those moments I want to remember…remember for a long time, even after I am dead.” As we tried to untwist our bodies, we caught ourselves laughing at our odd situation. We had made love, and became a little more sensitive with each other…a little more possessive of each other, I guess that is the nature of things in a relationship, they are made to progress, or stop, one or the other, and it was never to take place again in the front seat of a Mustang I knew…. She laid her cheek against my hand. “Chick.” “Yes?” “You realize don’t you, this can’t end here?” “There’s no reason for it to end, is there?” “No.” She spoke some German words I didn’t understand, German mingled with English I should say: then somehow, she went silent…maybe she was taking time to remember the moment, digesting it; I didn’t know, nor did I want to try to guess, I just looked at her, her smile it seemed to promise something, grace; instinct was in it also, around her small enclosed eyes, as they opened and shut slowly they were weaving a web I do believe, “It won’t end here, I promise.” Pleasant and agreeable-like a well-cultured woman she was, maybe too much for me, she opened the door, and dressed quickly, then got back in. “Want a cigarette?” I asked, sitting up straight. “No and neither do you. We are both restless it seems. Come over to me,” she started kissing me. As she released her lips from mine, she sat upright now, pulled out a cigarette, lit it and started blowing smoke rings into the air. “You know perfectly well, I’m very much attracted to you…yoouuuu… right?” “I hope so, I feel the some way.” “Luckily the wine deadens the bruises (discoloration).” I commented, she laughed and kind of stretched her back to put it back in place…”Me to,” she replied. “I wish all relationships could start like ours, it is like saying let’s drop all the game playing and pretend we are on the fifth date, and cut the crap; I like you Chick, I like you very much…” “The bruises will show up tomorrow,” I told Chris. Kind of saying maybe we should go, but neither one of us seemed to be all that bothered with that so we simply started kissing again after her cigarette brake…it was a long and needed pause for me, for a second breathe, a refractory period I needed [from uninterrupted sex]; that is, having multiple orgasms drains a man. I’ve learned also, women don’t need this rest period; so in time I’d learn how to last longer, and perhaps stretch the orgasms thinner but again, longer (three hours at the most; and I did). I thought in my head, she was having sex with me, and then that rich boyfriend she had; she was getting her multiorgasmic pleasures indeed, perhaps a secret to some women, for once they discover this, it is hard for any man to keep up with them, lest he be a superman of sorts. I did not even at that young age have the capacity to pass six organisms; five was my limit I learned. I was limp now; my penis had been as pointed as a scorpions tail a while ago. As scary as it started out for me I thought my reactions afterwards was cool, I seemed to be letting things take their natural course. It was a dark and colorless evening. Grossly romanticized in such an unimpressive way (so I thought in the back of my mind), yet Miss Chris was perfect. I thought to myself: maybe she might be annoyed with my lovemaking… I guess every man wants to please the woman, wife, girlfriend, the one he is making love to, or should want to please her, but most don’t; how can they, they pop too quickly. This is a fact, I’ve talked to men, and when they say they go so quick, no woman could get it on in that time period. A woman taught me how to hold myself from climaxing too early, thus allowing the woman to catch up—and therefore, allowing my female mate to get it on and enjoy. I know this evening went a little fast, but Chris was modest about it, like that other woman who had taught me, helped me, to help her, so we both could enjoy each other more; as my slowing down kept my penis hard longer, allowing her pleasure zone to become wider. This was something of the case in hand, but not completely. Most men think they make love better drinking, but it’s far from the truth. Most men do not know how to make love, no one taught them, so all they do is f*ck, and that is not love, that is, if anything, a quick climax, like eating a big fat burger, and wiping your mouth in its enjoyment and then leaving the café only to find out: you got indigestion, and had you went to a nicer restaurant, ate slower, you’d never forget the meal. I have experimented with that theory, and it is nine-minutes verse four-hours, I say four hours, but I knew in my head it was only one time I lasted four hours, two and a half was the norm. I was thinking now—as Chris kissed me—how I owe some women a bit of gratitude for allowing me to have my pleasure and not returning it to them; that’s the caretaker in a woman I think. But women just don’t know men can learn. And men are too bull-headed to let women teach them what pleases them. I had learned a good lover was worth his weight in gold and even maybe a little more: sometimes they can be irresistible. One could hardly tell her it wasn’t hastily done, our sex (to me it was) for it was, but she seemed to understand the circumstances, and we need not prove anything today, only allow our bodies to be sanctioned to the other. So I think we both felt. Lovemaking would improve as time went on. “I’m afraid my lover, we will have to find better accommodations next time,” Chris said, smiling at me. “Yes,” I hesitated, “absently,” I hesitated-- “I feel the same way.” “It’s a little hard in such a cramped car luckily we are both a little tipsy….” “I’m afraid I’m not, somehow I sobered up when you took your blouse off.” She smiled, with a grin. “Yes. I sense you have, do you really like me Chick?” “You are growing on me. And what is there not to like?” She was like a schoolgirl at times, needing to be encouraged, to grow up, and needed to be admired. But she didn’t need permission to live, she was taking that—but I’m learning to appreciate women more, I told myself, and it seems the more I show appreciation, the more they respect me, and to be quite frank with myself, I need respect. And why not … the world will give it, if you demand it, and if not, let that part of the world go; so my second self, my mind’s eye, told me. But then as I looked at her, if she really felt she was on death row, with cancer, maybe I was just a remedy for a while, and if so, so what, maybe I needed a remedy to make it through my time here in Germany; so seemed just to me. 8 The Spider and The Web A warm-wind had picked up it seemed, and April and May in Germany was a paradise of light-cool sunrays, it was a spring never to forget, Chris and I were growing on one another, like white on rice. More community drinking fairs were picking up and Chris and I tried to make a few, drink it up and eat and just go with the flow; it was a good time for living. Chris and I were known throughout the guardhouse-barracks as lovers and a heat wave at that. She seemed to have a charm with my soldier friends, and often drove her German boyfriend’s Mercedes car to the gate, and about, showing off kind of, not only to me, but it seemed at times going out of her way to show it to the other guards. Most of my friends thought she had two cars, I simply did not up date them, if they were not in my way of thinking or inner circle—why squander my time; and in most cases they didn’t have a need to know; but Ski and a few other of my friends knew the truth. I felt: plus, I felt: why not let Chris make an impression at the guard shacks, if it helps her ego so be it. I do not think I was envious, rather amused. I’m sure somewhere along the line I’d have to deal with envy, but who at my age is envious, for what, I have a lifetime to catch up. She flirted with the guards, and they all thought it cool. At night, if I had to work, she would bring me by a sandwich while on duty; in one way she got the guys a little jealous, or in lack of a better word, annoyed. And sometimes she would simply walk into barracks, which had about fifteen-guards some running around half naked from the shower room to their room, while others went visiting. She’d come knocking on my door. She’d spend the night with me, it was an improvement from the car, and for some reason we only went over to her house once in the following two months. I knew we were not fooling anyone at the guard-barracks, but we pretended to be secret about it anyway.