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The Portrait of: Mr. Augusto S. Moaio
The Mu-man
“The Mu-men, how did they get here?” asked Professor Eceptico-Espirtu, of the University of Lima (in Peru).
“How do you think,” said a youthful student named: Augusto S. Moaio, a wild looking flat faced undergraduate from one of the South Pacific Islands: adding, “they came on a damn ship from Saturn and some from Mercury, from its gigantic volcano area.”
It was the first day of classes for the students and so the Professor hesitated in correcting the young lad, and simply smiled reluctantly at him. Then after a—something shorter than a pause—he remarked, “That all seems a bit far fetched, like one of those Edgar Rice Burroughs novels, or Mr. Doyle’s “Lost World,” crap”; the class laughed and so the professor figured he’d string the new student along and listen like a good father would to a spoiled son, and then make a lesson out of him in front of the class.
“So it does,” responded the mad and impatient young man, with a receding hairline, and long ears; not long-long ears, but not normal size either. Matter of fact, the professor took a second look for he had not noticed them a moment ago being long at all.
Said the Professor [cynically] “Tell me Mr. Moaio just where these Mu-men came from in a more specific and detailed manner: and if possible, in chronological order, for we all seem so uninformed according to you; henceforward son, move on, give us a better grasp on this!” This was the normally way for the professor to scare off his challengers [or challenges] in class; that is, toss a little fun their way [belittle them if need be] make them sweat; thus, shutting down their stupid questions, or remarks, as he felt they were just annoyances, but he had to allow some inquiry.
Said Mr. Moaio with a smile [after a short consideration], or was it a sneer, it’s hard to determine, “They were already here long before the aliens arrived: the Mu-men that is.”
“You don’t need to clarify who we are discussing; you are all alive and I dare say, some undergraduates, and some graduate students, are you not; you all got cultured brains I hope, especially being in my class you better have.” The ‘not’ and ‘you’ had an inflection to it. “Carry on Augusto,” bellowed the professor.
[A little stiffly—he’s mad.] “As I was about to say,” the class all looking at the young tall man standing by his desk now, all twenty students with inquisitive eyes and wondering if this was a stage play or what. “…the primitive Mu-men were injected with a chromosome buster, they were evidently breaking and life expectancy was less than twenty-five years for them, and the aliens helped in this area, in particular, the Saturnites. This of course was the beginnings of the highbred Mu-men, whom were similar to our great apes or primates if you will, prior to their helpful technology.”
The professor now said [laconically]. “So are we getting a lesson on Evolution, Mr. Moaio?”
“Oh no just a chronological order of how they came to be and whom they were as you wanted Sir.”
“Carry on, carry on, young lad…” said the professor—wild-eyed—with distain in his countenance, adding: “and when did all this take place, since you seem to have hidden knowledge none of us have; dates give me dates, they got to someplace in that big head of yours.” Now the professor got another laugh from his students, as he predicted. But it didn’t seem to faze the new student.
“Well,” he said with thought through breathe, ‘it’s not all that simple, it really was a long trip, I mean it happened in stages….”
[A pause, as Augusto took a swallow.]
(The professor now leaned against his podium, putting his forearms down on its wooden side frame; his lecture was stopped for the most part and he knew it, which was originally on the 8th continent [Lemuria: which was to have stretched from Easter Island to Tahiti, to Fiji and onto Guam and beyond, and over to Hawaii]. He was going to explore the Maya culture and the Egyptian and try to mix it in with Lemuria. It was all lost now, the South Pacific per se was his domain to talk about, he had spent 26-years on Easter Island, during his summer breaks, and was always delighted to start his program out on the history of this area adding his exploits to the learning process, and this Augusto had just taken it away.)
Said the professor [emphatically], “Were you were about to say something Mr. Moaio?”
[Blinking.] “The Mu-men were once a great ape society, giants if you will (the professor quickly added, ‘Like King Kong I suppose?’ but Augusto just continued to talk without stopping). In consequence, they were given a Gravity-reinforcer, what you might call a membrane around a cell, but it was put around the chromosomes of the Mu-men, allowing their chromosomes to withstand their breakage so easily. And in time they were even given an additional chromosome. Again I repeat myself, allowing longer life for the Mu-men.
The collapsing of the chromosomes was the big fault the aliens from Mercury had concluded. Thereafter, their life span jumped up fifteen if not twenty-five years, and as time proceeded they would gain even a longer life span, once acquiring better eating habits, disease control, along with better hygiene. I do agree with you professor with the size of the continent, although it was a bit larger (the professor gave a limped smile).
The Mu-men were self producing, in essence, they kind of laid eggs in reproducing themselves. And by the continued aid from the two alien races, they acquired both sex organs, and started to cohabitate with humans. Actually capturing them and bringing them to their abodes as they felt a need to, or out of necessity for offspring that might be more humanoid like. As a result, the alien races decided to stop the so called experiment; of course to the disappointment of the Mu-men. Let me add, the Mu-men were now a distorted bunch of creatures: some with three eyes, and feet that looked like ducks so they could walk backwards or forwards, some even sideways. In addition, they had a small cranial, possible that of the Neanderthal, or even Homo erectus. But he or they did become a new species, and that was what they wanted.”
As Augusto stopped to catch his breathe, the professor noticed his brow ridges were pronounced over his eyes (he hadn’t noticed them before being so), it was as if he was of an old age; for he concluded, age, thickens the brows, and drops the jaw bone, thus he must be very old, but he was young looking in all fairness.
The Professor [losing confidence under Augusto’s stare] said, “Continue please,” digging his fingers into the wood of the podium stand.
[Cooley.] “Well,” he continued with a dry mouth, but steady voice, “they had little brains compared to us, one could say. But great was their supernatural willpower; that is to say, they could move objects unbelievable heavy. Things large cranes today could not move.”
[Suspiciously.] The professor looked up to the ceiling as if to stop Augusto from talking for a moment—showing a bit of world-weariness, and want to insert his two-cents worth, thus, saying as he lowered his head, “No, no, now do you really think we are to believe this, I mean, move what, show us, I mean point to an example so we can scientifically …”
[Augusto now interrupts. He rings off despondently.] “I was about to explain, if you will let me Professor [a pause, limited to a moment] the Mu-men moved great stones with the clap of an eye, how they acquired this ability was a mixture of their hybrid genetic breeding I would imagine. They were quite primitive you know, and had four arms at one time. And for your dates, I’d say it was 17,694 BC when they became completely a jawboned bipedal human, yet let me not forget to include for your information, they remained still linked to the ancestry of the two limbed Lotus Demon [of Mercury] now, they carried their blood through these developing stages of trying to become closer to the humanoid species. And then around 13,500 BC, the war started with Atlantis.”
“Honesty,” said the professor, “my gosh, now we got Atlantis in this so called thesis, and a two limbed demon, what next?”
Two limbed Lotus Demon
Said the professor with a speculative eye, “It seems to me you are grabbing at fragments of unwritten, mythological history, legends if you will, adding them to your recipe of anthropological gobbledygook, and with a slice of interplanetary jargon; and thinking we are to swallow it whole?”
Augusto (with a tortured mind trying to convince the professor ((magnanimously))—assured himself he’d give it one more try), “Professor [he said], a large object, possible several miles across struck the planet Mercury, this smashing into the planet caused immense waves of superheated vapor that rolled for hundreds of miles, killing everything in its path, thus the Mercurynites sought out another haven, earth. The impact was so devastating it caused a tidal wave sending millions of tons of dust and vapor into its atmosphere, which darkened a side of the planet; in a similar manner the very thing that took place on earth. The creatures of Mercury are in our blood.” Augusto had to imply the word ‘us,’ instead of ‘him,’ so as to not cause alarm.
Mercury’s Demise
At that very moment Augusto sat down in his chair, closed his eyes, and folded his hands [somewhat despairingly]. The Professor noticed now he had long finger nails—so the professor had just noticed—with a lofty high head of red hair, again something that just occurred to him, and his groin area bulged out as if he had an overgrown penis. All concerned, he was looking [He being: the Professor] at the rest of the class to see if they had noticed the transformation of this young student’s bodily configuration—and to no avail, they all seemed quite content to carry on with listening to the dialogue between the two, without an iota of any x-ray appearances taking place. Thus, he rubbed his eyes and wiped his glasses, but it was more than that. He tried to place this person into a gap of time, pre-historic epoch, relating him to mankind’s ancestors, like: Australopithecus, Homo Habilis or Home erectus, for he was shape changing in x-ray vision in front of him with such features, yet his height remained the same. Possibly he was seeing layers of this person, his ancestry layers, along with bazaar alien layers also, such as: skull, lower jaw, ribs, and vertebrae and limb fragments, ex-ray configurations. He was no paleontologist, but he knew what he saw in the fossil findings of early man, and he knew anatomy quite well. And he concluded he was witnessing 40,000-years in a moment’s time.
As Augusto closed his eyes, he held his hands against his frontal lobe, he chanted something beyond recognition, the professor could hear his heart beat, it was like the thumping of hoof beats—hoof beats coming louder and louder; the professor became speechless, almost as if in a trance. To break the silence the professor said, “It is all still a mystery; just, just a damn mystery…” but at the end of the last word the five story building started to shift off its concrete foundation, brick by brick it loosened and lift its home base—lifted up several inches from its groundwork. Then the young man opened his eyes, a flat look on his face, his teeth grinding, eyes bloodshot like a gorilla’s, a Great Ape’s.
Said the young man with a tarnished and rustic voice, one not quite like the Professor had heard a few minutes ago: “Mysteries are not meant to be completely sold for the price of curiosity, they all have a heavier price than one normally wants to pay, and should you wish to seek out all it has to offer, you will have to pay the price.” It was a statement not a question. It was as if the lad was giving the professor a choice of some kind (we also must remember the building is still standing several inches in the air and throughout the hallways and classrooms people are thinking an earthquake just took place and are running wildly about.) But let me continue with the shrewd professor—so he thinks he is.
“Mysteries, the mind, the why’s, they belong to people like me, who have studied all their life to seek them out; the layman knows not how to handle such things, it is the scientist who deserves the discovery.” The young man just looked [eagerly] at the professor as if he may get his wish. Then [breathlessly] crashing through the door was the Dean, he had ran from classroom to classroom, but when he came upon Professor EE’s room [as he was often called] he was stunned to see everyone still sitting calmly, and the professor at the podium still having a discussion, or so it looked like it to him.
“Are you mad Professor EE, get this classroom out of harms way, get them outside, we’re in the middle of an earthquake!” then he ran uncontrollably out of the room to warn the adjacent class. At that moment, that very moment, the class seemed to have gotten out of its fog and stumbled to the door, all left, but the professor and the young man, whom remained stationary in the same positions they had been for the past hour, with their ongoing dialogue.
“Ah!” said Augusto [fiercely], “there is a Mecca of possibilities Professor!” The professor knew beyond a doubt he was with some kind of ancient being; possible a shape-changer, things were too weird, the whole day was too eerie. The building now fell back roughly onto its foundation, but was still not stable, it was leaning, and some of floors and stairways had broken and sunk onto the lower floor; it would take a miracle to put it back into place; it would have to be rebuilt.
The Professor [astounded] asked, “Where are you from?” now having changed his style and tone of voice.
“From the third cataclysm of Atlantis and the one wherein Mu sank, and Atlantis survived; as it had twice before tasted near-extinction, calamities as you would have it. The forth cataclysm it sank completely, those who survived, were scattered around the world. The residue of Mu was scattered around the world likewise, I helped build the Gran Saposoa in the Amazon jungle, lost to humanity for 2000-years. I seen two Ice Ages come and go; I witnessed the warm airs of Europe pass over to North America when there was no Greenland to subdue it. I witnessed the Geological North Pole move from the Northwest Passage to where it is today. I was one of the first Chahopoyas natives. It’s been an interesting life to say the least.” A sneer again appeared on the professor’s face, Augusto knew he’d have to prove it, but should he it would have to be—aggravatingly. It was one thing to show his powers in levitation, another to say you were over 13,000-years old.
“Excuse me Professor,” said Augusto, “just how much proof do you want of me, to scornfully prove, the Mu-man lives on in me?” Now Augusto’s body became like an x-ray again, but with beams radiating from it. But the professor, arrogantly would not except this manifestation as proof he was as old as he claimed or personified in [with] his materializations; and Augusto could not go beyond this without harming himself, or for that matter, without returning to his old genetic half-human like species, the one he left behind so long ago; changeability was not on his menu like his grandfather’s before him: it would be his obliteration, he had chromosomes now that would never break, he could live possibly 20,000-years should he care for himself properly. (You could hear the fire engines, and the police cars now outside ((below)); the authorities wondering what had, and was taking place, while these two men remained standing in the same place, same position they had now for, let’s say an hour and a half. Then just as the professor began to laugh, a little stiffly he became, his bones were receptive to the new developments inside his skin; his chromosomes: his twenty-third lost its vitality—his face looked as it had gone mad, his chin drooping with old age, distorted; he was developing long lived hormones, he was separating from the Homo sapiens, more within the genera of Australopithecus, with features closer to the Neanderthal, thus he was becoming a living fossil, if you will: close to the looks of Homo erectus. His large brow ridges now rested over his eyes, made him look a thousand years old, a build-up of bone over the eye socks that were so pronounced he could not look straight up at the ceiling as he did before; his feet were like a ducks, he must had been nine feet tall now, with a three eyes, two new arms growing, facial distortions, worse than homo erectus; a primitive human species beyond his imagination, more like the Murcerynites. His brain capacity was lowered, he couldn’t think quickly, and when he did think and try to hold the thought, he forgot it even quicker, but he had a stronger will now, but didn’t know how to use it. He would soon find out, he couldn’t change his body back to how it was. Augusto had learned how to transform into another comatose body, and when that person died of old age, he’d shift into another. But this freak of nature, as the professor would soon be, would be subject to all the sciences the world had to offer. He would never have peace.
That is when Augusto stood up, walked out of his the classroom, never to return; for the shrewd professor could not speak a language anymore, just some sounds, gestures, and he became the talk of the decade, until he committed suicide.
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How You Can Lower Your Cholesterol and Add Years to Your Life—Naturally
In a recent study; our natural product was proven to lower LDL or “bad” cholesterol for participants with high LDL levels by an astounding 31%. Some participants reported decreases of up to 52%! Overall reductions, including those participants with fair or better LDL levels averaged over 20%.
What is equally amazing is that the average increase of HDL “good” cholesterol in those participants with low HDL levels was 29%, with some achieving increases of up to 85%! Overall increases for those with normal HDL levels were 25%. (Keep in mind that statin drugs have little or no effect on good cholesterol.).
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4. Enhances Enzymatic Breakdown and Removal of LDL Cholesterol
The Sad Facts Are:
By the time you finish reading this paragraph, 1 in 3 Adults will die from Cardiovascular Disease. Someone in the United States will die from cardiovascular disease. In fact, by the end of the day, cardiovascular disease will kill 3,500 Americans.
What’s more, by the end of the year, more than 1.3 million people will die with cardiovascular disease as the underlying or contributing cause of death. Imagine the entire population of a city the size of Philadelphia or Phoenix dying every year from cardiovascular disease.
This isn’t recent news. For the last one hundred years, cardiovascular disease has been the number one killer in America. Chances are good that if you have two best friends, one of the three of you will die from this disease.
Unfortunately, in many cases the first indication that there’s a problem with your cardiovascular system is death.
The Dangers of the Traditional Medical Approach to Lowering Cholesterol
The medical community typically treats the problem of high cholesterol by prescribing drugs called statins. Statin drugs work by slowing the body’s production of cholesterol. However, there’s a downside to statins.
Because statins are a synthetic drug (not natural), they may produce dangerous side effects. In fact, unknown to the public and even most doctors, the side effects of statin drugs can be life threatening.
The Statin Effects Study, conducted by the University of California, San Diego, warns that statin side effects include possible liver and muscle damage—the most common and well known side effects.
However, this study also lists lesser known side effects of statins:
• Changes in memory, attention, or concentration
• Depression and irritability
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Attention to diet, exercise, weight control, andmanagement of stress are imperative. An active,preventive lifestyle remains the primary force in theprevention and treatment of cardiovascular disease. Itall comes down to you and your personal choices.
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If you need to spice things up in the bedroom, it’s always a good idea to throw in some toys for you and your partner to have fun with. Here are some simple sex toys for those who are new to the experience:
1. A vibrator – It’s best to start with a simple vibrator, and if you’re a lucky man, your partner may already have one. You can easily stimulate her clitoris using this device, especially if she’s having a hard time to climax. Vibrators are quite handy for guys too – she can use this to tease your prostate to give you a more powerful orgasm.
2. Handcuffs or scarves – These are great for simple role-playing (cops and robbers bedroom style). You can cuff yourselves to each other, or one of you can be cuffed to a bedpost. By limiting your movement this way, you can find more creative positions to give each other pleasure. If you’re using scarves instead of cuffs, you can use them as a blindfold too. After all, increasing the element of surprise can do wonders for your libido.
3. Boardgames – Don’t break out Monopoly out of the box just yet, an game like “Twister” can be more interesting if you play it while you’re naked. There are also several sex-oriented board games on the market, like Sex Questions and Pervarsity, and you might want to look into those.
4. Edible body paint – If you and your partner have artistic inclinations, using edible body paint is a good way to express yourself when you’re inspired. Sexually, that is. You can paint on each other and lick it all off after. Some paints are chocolate flavored, and we all know that most women can’t resist chocolate!
5. Penis rings – They come in all shapes and sizes, and they’re good for both you and your partner. They can make your erections more intense, as well as stimulate her vagina in ways that a naked penis won’t. This is a good toy for those who want to put a little variety when it comes to penetration.
Once you feel as if you and your partner are past the "beginner's" stage of sex toy usage, go ahead and experiment! There's a whole treasure trove of sex toys available for the advanced user.
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Medically speaking, and also by some studies, there is a strong case for keeping the penis intact. Is circumcision a good idea or not?
There is a case for circumcision, and it is based on a study done by this author with 46 men, circumcised after their 25th year.
The Survey
The men who participated in the survey were all mature men over 25 years of age, have had sex with and without circumcision, and were able to comment directly on the difference in sexual gratification, illness, and proclivity to masturbate.
Of the 46 men, 31 were recent converts to the Jewish faith, 19 to Islam, and 6 had the procedure done for medical reasons.
The Survey Questions:
1. Is your sexual experience (a) greater, (b) the same, (c) less, after circumcision?
2. Have you noticed any difference in your incidence of genital infections since your circumcision? (a) less, (b) more, (c) no change.
3. If you masturbate, has circumcision (a) made no change in your masturbating habits, (b) you masturbate less, or (c) masturbate more.
The Results
Question #1 was answered by 32 men (a), 10 men (b), and 4 men (c)
Question #2 was answered by 35 men (a) 0 men (b) 11 men (c)
Question #3 was answered by 23 men (a) 20 men (b) 3 men (c)
The Results Interpreted
On question #1, an overwhelming majority agreed the sexual experience was more than before circumcision.
This is a very subjective question, and to compare, a man would have to had sex with and without a prepuce. No amount of conjecture on the nature of the prepuce can supplant the opinion of those who had it and then did not.
The fact that approx 70% said that their sexual experience was greater without a prepuce is significant. The fact that 91% said that is was greater or the same is very significant as a case for circumcision.
On question #2 the same majorities exist, and even a stronger case for circumcision is made. Using the studies and reasons for not circumcising men are fairly well refuted here.
Question #3 is not very clear, as the men’s masturbating habits are not clearly defined.
An old excuse for circumcision is that it would discourage men from masturbating, but this question seems only to have determined that recently circumcised men either masturbate the same as they used to (before circumcision) or less. This would tend to confirm one reason for circumcision.
Conclusions
While the above survey does not follow scientific method in its strictest form, it does have something to say from men who knew the situation before circumcision and then afterwards.
You can certainly make up your own mind as to the conclusions, but statistically, it would seem that circumcision is a good idea, rather than a negative one.
It appears the circumcised men are enjoying their sexual experiences more than they used to, are healthier, and if they masturbate, are still masturbating.
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Excerpt from The Steroid Deceit
Having abused steroids for three and a half years, I was always afraid of being found out. I took pains to keep my steroid use hidden from my parents. They thought my newfound muscles were the result of all the time I spent at the gym, as well as the various supplements and powders that I always seemed to be taking. Little did they realize that some of those pills I called “vitamins” were actually oral steroids.
The façade to my life of deceit began to crack, when I received a panicked phone call from my mother. She had evidently found one of my syringes.
I rushed home. Since using steroids, I had become a much better liar than I ever could have imagined, and naturally I was ready to give her an Academy Award winning performance.
My mother was waiting for me at the front door, and started in on me as I made my way up the pathway. “Are you using heroin?"
“Mom,” I told her, offering her a big smile. “You’ve got it all wrong.”
She waved the syringe in her hand as if to say, “How could this be wrong?”
I didn’t stop smiling, even though inwardly I was cursing myself for having been careless with my needles. I had slipped up. Until that mistake I had always cleaned up after my usage and secreted everything away. While my mother brandished the syringe, I was doing some waving of my own, showing her a prescription form. By this time we were in the house.
“I am not a junkie, Mom,” I told her. “I was given a prescription from a doctor.”
“What for?” she asked.
“For steroids,” I said, “only steroids.”
She still looked doubtful, so I said, “I’ll go show you.”
I went up to my room and returned with a vial. “See,” I said, showing her the vial, and then repeated, “It’s only steroids.”
It’s only steroids. As a parent I can tell you that if I heard those words from one of my two boys I would be as concerned as if my child had announced, “Don’t worry, it’s only heroin.”
I made a big show of throwing out the syringe and vial in front of my mother, My mother appeared pacified. Luckily, she didn’t know anything about steroids, and what I was saying must have sounded reasonable. Besides, my tossing out the vial and syringe clearly demonstrated that I didn’t have a problem. What she didn’t know was that I had a secret stash in my closet with dozens more vials and needles.
It was also a good thing she didn’t look closely at the prescription, or she might have wondered why a vet was prescribing a drug to a human. In my hunt for bigger and better steroids I had found a veterinarian willing to write me a scrip for equipoise, a steroid prescribed for horses. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I had made copies of the prescription. I didn’t even have horse sense. I was a drug abuser with an illegal prescription covering up his habit by lying.
I wish my mother hadn’t trusted me. I wish she had challenged me. I wish she had taken note of all the warning signs my body and behavior were giving off, and had pulled me up short.
According to the U.S. Center of Disease Control, up to 6% of high school students have tried, or are using, steroids. Even if that figure is wildly exaggerated – even if it’s only half of that number – we are still talking about an incredible number of young people using steroids.
Teens typically use steroids to get buff, or try and get an athletic edge. What they don’t take into account is the potential hazards that come with the drugs.
Some of the side effects include: Psychological addiction; Depression and mood swings; Insomnia; Severe acne; Hair loss; Infertility; Liver disease; Testicular atrophy; Arteriosclerosis; Heart disease; Permanent stunting of growth; Feminization of males including breast swelling (gynecomastia – also known by steroid users as “bitch tits”); Stretch marks; Water retention; High blood pressure; Tendon and ligament damage
Specific side effects of females are: Virilization (becoming more masculine) of females, with such symptoms as excessive face and body hair, deepening of the voice which is irreversible; suppression of menses; decreased breast size; and enlargement of the clitoris;
It is hard to believe that given all the health risks associated with steroids that they continue to grow in popularity. I am afraid that either the message of their dangers isn’t getting out, or maybe it’s just that the other “message” is so much more prevalent that it’s hard to refute. When people look at the hard, muscled bodies presented by smiling, oversized human beings, they see a tempting portrait. Users and potential users are seduced by this picture of health and vitality. The picture doesn’t show the strain on the arteries, the wear and tear on the heart, or the pinball effect on the psyche.
Because society has not yet raised enough red flags over steroid use, the burden for this scrutiny has to fall on parents and loved ones. At the time I abused steroids they were an “under the radar” drug; my parents didn’t even know what they were. Public awareness about steroids has grown, but judging from their increased popularity, teens and adults have not yet come to the realization that using them means playing Russian roulette.
To protect their children from the dangers of steroids, parents need to be vigilant. For their own good, no child should be able to get away with what I did. It was wrong of me to pretend indifference about my drug habit and proclaim, “It’s only steroids.”
Steroid use is the hidden epidemic. Somehow the war on drugs has missed this target. Parents can’t afford to turn a blind eye, though. Among the warning signs parents should be looking for in a child who might be using steroids is: A rapid increase in the musculature of your child; Your child’s preoccupation or obsession with “getting big”; An outbreak of acne (predominately on chest and back) far and above the usual; Pronounced mood swings;The presence of muscle magazines (look for the usual smiling steroid figures on the cover). There’s an old axiom: if it’s too good to be true, beware. Those bodies are too good to be true;
Vials and pills and syringes – it is up to you to read the labels. I told my parents that the oral steroids I was taking were vitamins. Watch out for the following pills: Anadrol; Dianabol; Winstrol; tamoxifen; clenbuterol; clomifen citrate; masterolone
Anything in a vial is suspect (if it is in a vial, it is usually vile). The brand names are many and varied, but look for the following substances: stanazalol; nandrolone decanoate; nandrolone phenilpropionate; dromastolone dipropionate; and testosterone.
Despite all those misleading advertisements which claim you can lose 10 pounds of fat and put on 10 pounds of muscle in just a few days, it doesn’t happen that way. The human body doesn’t change overnight. When not using steroids, professional athletes are hard-pressed to put on 10 pounds of muscle in a year, even with rigorous workouts. If your child suddenly sprouts muscles, it is your job to be suspicious. Don’t be surprised if your teen credits those muscles to his or her pumping iron, and taking protein shakes and supplements. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that those pills and shakes are all but worthless. Invariably, the spokesperson for those kinds of products is a steroid abuser. The fact is that those supplements will not pack on the pounds and muscles as the manufacturers claim. Steroids will do that. They might also cause you to die or go crazy getting those muscles, but that’s not something you are ever likely to hear coming out of the mouth of Mr. Big Biceps.
What should a parent do if they discover that their child is using steroids? One of the first priorities is opening up a dialogue with your child and start discussing this risky behavior. One of my favorite sayings is, “There is nothing uglier than truth when it is not on your side.” Truth is a great antidote to combating steroid usage.
From the onset I would impress upon the child that what they are doing is both illegal and harmful. If you take a steroid, in the eyes of the law it’s the same thing as popping an amphetamine or Quaalude. Possession of steroids is a federal offense, and can result in jail time of up to one year in prison along with a fine up to a thousand dollars. If you manufacture or distribute steroids, the penalties are much more severe. It is common for many steroid users to sell or distribute their drugs. Doing a “favor” for another user can now result in a jail sentence.
Expect your child to be defensive. When you start explaining about health risks associated with steroids, you are sure to hear, “I don’t know anybody who has had those kinds of problems.” It is entirely possible they’ll be telling the truth. You will have to explain that sometimes the effects are not immediate, and sometimes they can’t be seen. Tell them that steroids are like cigarettes; often they debilitate over time.
You also have to try and impress upon them what I think of as “the X Factor.” Every day more evidence comes forward showing the detrimental effects of steroids. It’s only recently that steroids have been linked with depression, just as there have only been preliminary studies on steroids being a possible “gateway” drug. Before the mid-nineties, though, no one was talking about ‘roid rage. And before that no one had any idea about the potential for kidney damage and arteriosclerosis due to steroid usage.
Your child will tell you that steroids work, and he’ll be right. They do work, but it’s one of those cases of their working too well. Your child might not want to hear about heart disease or liver tumors or hardening of the arteries. You will hear about the strength gains, and the “incredible” workouts. Your response should be, “At what cost?” The human body is designed for certain maximum levels. Those who abuse steroids can, and do, spend more time at the gym or on the playing field, and are able to push themselves harder and longer. Sooner, usually than later, though, the human body rebels; joints tear and ligaments rip. It isn’t surprising that sports medicine has seen an epidemic of career ending injuries in the past decade. Steroids have given athletes a false platform upon which to perform; when that platform collapses, too often it is game, set, and match. This trend of serious injuries extends from high schools to the professional levels. Sports doctors say they are seeing a huge increase in tendon and muscle ruptures. That isn’t a coincidence. When bodies get pushed too hard, they snap even harder.
Student athletes are under enormous pressure to perform and that makes steroids tempting. Non-athletes feel their own pressures; everyone wants to look “buff” and fit. Parents should also tell their children that steroids are cheating. In simple terms of right and wrong, they are wrong, and you don’t want your child to be a cheater. If your son or daughter is looking for an athletic advantage, tell them that you don’t believe in winning at all costs and neither should they. Stress to them that the muscles they think they are getting are artificial and temporary, and if they want the real thing then they are going to have to work for it. Talk to your child and make sure his or her self-esteem is not dependent on body image. This will probably be another case where your child thinks you are old-fashioned and out of it; when your child grows up he will see how wise you were (but don’t expect to get thanked any time soon).
It is possible your child has body dysmorphia, with a resulting skewed view on what his/her body really looks like. Harrison Pope established a formula to calculate what he called the “fat-free mass index” (FFMI). Based on those calculations, the upper limits of musculature and build can be defined by their scoring system. The researchers found that a drug-free individual could be muscular, but in a proportional and natural way. Unfortunately, these days we see so many images of bodies accomplished through steroids that we don’t realize them for what they are – fakes. Teens need to have a realistic idea of what is normal body image, and what is abnormal.
When confronting a child’s usage of steroids, the natural reaction for any concerned parent is to ban steroids from the household. That prohibition won’t work, though, unless your child realizes it is in his own best interest to quit. Going off steroids is something that can be fraught with problems; consult with a doctor. Going “cold turkey” can have tragic consequences. If you get steroids out of your house, be aware that your child might seek out steroids through friends and find a way to try and hide further usage from you. Don’t be afraid of looking like the “bad guy.” Your child might not understand the serious consequences involved with steroid usage. If you suspect continued use of steroids, take your son or daughter to a physician and have them tested.
I would also strongly encourage you to get your child into counseling. Most males will resist this, and will no doubt insist that it’s unnecessary. These are the same males who might suffer severe depression in silence, not doing anything about it. Unfortunately their ultimate solution might be suicide. Without being overly dramatic, parents need to be on a “suicide watch” for a child that is using steroids, or has recently stopped. Coming “down” from steroids can be a perilous time, especially for young people. They need to understand what is happening to them. Because they have tinkered with their body chemistry, stopping steroid usage might result in considerable physical and mental shocks to the system.
When young men act rambunctious, people often roll their eyes and say, “Too much testosterone.” Imagine, then, too much testosterone for months and years at a time. Your child needs to know that’s what they wreaked upon their system, and that sometimes body and mind take time to find their way back to normal.
Take it from me; it will be one of the most important journeys they ever undertake.
