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Most sex offenders "groom" their victims prior to any sexual abuse for a period of weeks, months or even years. After gaining trust in the parents, the offender offers to baby sit the child or provide fun activities. During this time, he/she proceeds to groom the child. The perpetrator is aware that the child must be controlled to the extent where he/she can sexually abuse the child without fear of disclosure to another adult. This manipulation may be obtained in many ways: favors, threats, guilt, shame, etc. A mother revealed her husband played a tickling game with their three-year-old son. The rules of the game was to play with Daddy and have fun—the son was instructed to tickle his father’s nipples while sitting in a straddled position over his father’s nude body from the waist up. The object of this game was, ‘Make daddy laugh.’ Of course, the father could withhold laughing until he experienced the sexual stimulation he desired. When the mother objected to this game, the father admonished her for being jealous of his time with their son. Another mother was horrified when her three-year old daughter asked her to play the ‘pee-pee’ game. She asked her daughter to explain this game. Her daughter lay on her back on the floor; legs spread and said, “Touch my ‘pee-pee,’ Mommy, that is what Daddy does.” Fathers often cuddle in bed with their daughters in a spoon position, arm across their mid-body with only underware or pajamas on. Several clients have reported feeling their father’s penis against their legs or back, while not knowing what to do—as they wanted their father’s affection—they didn’t like the feeling of his genitals against their body. This cuddling seems harmless. The women also reported sexual abuse occurred sometime later. Was the cuddling in bed a form of grooming or was the cuddling an ill advised way to show affection with the child that unwittingly led to subsequent sexual abuse? In either belief, the damage is done. In a study of twenty adult sex offenders conducted by Jon Cote, Steven Wolf and Tim Smith; two of the key questions asked were: 1. “Was there something about the child’s behavior which attracted you to the child?” • “The warm and friendly child or the vulnerable child. Friendly, showed me their panties.” • “The way the child would look at me, trustingly.” • “The child who was teasing me, smiling at me, asking me to do favors.” • “Someone who had been a victim before [sexual abuse or spankings], quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been, a victim would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty. Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.” 2. “After you had identified a potential victim, what did you do to engage the child into sexual contact?” The responses included: • “I didn’t say anything. It was at night, and she was in bed asleep.” • “Talking, spending time with them, being around them at bedtime, being around them in my underwear, sitting down on the bed with them. Constantly evaluating the child’s reaction… A lot of touching, hugging, kissing, snuggling.” [Desensitizing the child with appropriate behavior.] • “Playing, talking, giving special attention, trying to get the child to initiate contact with me… Get the child to feel safe to talk with me… From here I would initiate different kinds of contact, such as touching the child’s back, head… Testing the child to see how much she would take before she would pull away.” • “Isolate them from other people. Once alone, I would make a game of it (red light, green light with touching up their leg until they said stop). Making it fun.” • “Most of the time I would start by giving them a rub down. When I got them aroused, I would take the chance and place my hand on their penis to masturbate them. If they would not object, I would take this to mean it was okay… I would isolate them. I might spend the night with them. Physical isolation, closeness, contact are more important than verbal seduction. Many clients have reported their sexual abuse grooming started when they showered with a parent—or the parent/caretaker washed the child’s genital area with bare hands and soap long past the stage a child can attend to their own genital hygiene. While for some this activity was the extent of the covert sexual contact, but for others it evolved into overt sexual abuse. Even though the activity was only ‘rubbing’ the genital area ostensibly for bathing purposes, many people have suffered classic aftereffects of sexual abuse. How? You might ask, would the child experience sexual abuse by having their genital area washed with bare hands and soap? The answer is simple. At birth, children are complete neurological sexual beings who can experience erotic sensation although they are sexually immature and without an active sex drive. Furthermore, the child experiences the adult’s physiology, which has sexual overtones, thus although the child doesn’t have a name for the experience the child knows something has changed. Within the definition of sexual abuse it is abuse, “If a child cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse she/he has been violated.” Grooming or sexual abuse activities include: • Playing pool tag—when the child is tagged ‘Playfully’ pulling the child’s swimsuit down. • Pulling her panties down without her permission. • Male holding a child on his lap while he has an erection. • Kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver and inappropriate for the child. • Seemingly innocuous touching, caressing, wrestling, tickling or playing, which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person. • Adult treats the child as an equal/peer, pseudo or surrogate spouse. Unique and less frequently reported grooming activities: • Male demonstrates and instructs the child how to suck on a peeled banana without breaking or putting teeth marks on it. Once the child has complied and masters the skill; this activity is shifted to his penis—often using the con—“I have a big banana between my legs, you can suck on it.” • Male initiates a game of ‘sucking the jelly’ out of my big toe. Once the child has complied and understands the ‘game.’ This activity is shifted to his penis. • Invading a child’s privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her/him unaware or indisposed. This invasion is a power play—disempowering their victim—indoctrinating the child to comply with the adult’s authority and control in all situations and circumstances. • Enemas or frequent inspection of the child’s genitals ostensibly for health reasons. In the twenty-five years I have worked with sexual abuse survivors in the healing process, I have discovered a child is rarely subjected to only one type of sexual abuse. Furthermore, I have learned the sad truth about the human mind’s ability to seemingly conceive of endless ways to sexually abuse children. Resource: Conte, Jon R., Steven Wolf, Tim Smith. "What Sexual Offenders Tell Us About Prevention Strategies." Child Abuse & Neglect Vol. 13 (1989): 293-301. pnis enlargement result penis elargement cream homemade penis enlargement does vigrx really work pennis enlargement excersizes pennis enlargement technique penis enlagement program cheapest penile enlargment pills

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The caves at Trois Freres in France hold some fascinating images. This is a brief discussion around those paintings. What was their significance? Cave paintings hold a powerful fascination. They are one of our most direct ways of touching our ancestors. Those men and women who lived by primitive means would have been more aware of the world around them than we are. The nature of their lives would have caused them to be more in touch with seasons and the patterns of life. Life and death depended upon their knowledge of food supplies and seasonal variations Was this the reason for the cave paintings? Deep into the Trois Freres ( Three Brothers ) Caves in France the visitor can see vague ancient images of figures and animals. One of these figures in particular has attracted international attention. Many believe it to be one of the first depictions of a shaman. When I first saw the images from these caves in France I was stunned by their graphic nature. The pictures of cattle and other beasts that surround the central figure high up on the cave roof are vague now but skilfully drawn. The central figure is about 2 and ½ feet or 70 cm tall. His appearance is strange, part animal part human. On his head are deer's antlers, probably reindeer, his mask has owl eyes below this there appears to be a long beard. His hands are hidden inside lion or bear paws. The back is shaped like that of an animal, is he wearing an animal sin? The tail is that of a fox covering his erect penis. My copy of the Animal Master is at www.mask-and-more-masks.com/The-Shaman-of-Trois-Freres.html Around this figure there are many comments and speculations as to its true nature. It is general accepted that he is a figure in a mask and animal disguise. That he has some spiritual / magical significance to the animals surrounding him makes sense. It is also widely thought that he is a shaman. Below the shaman there is a plethora of animals drawn over the top of each other. Almost like a sketch pad. I know at times I draw in this manner. I try forms and shapes sometimes they flow from the pencil at other times it seems much harder to achieve the effect that I want. As I scribble the page becomes full of overlapping images too busy to cope with. Ideas and notation. A place to be returned to in the future for a captured image to be reworked. But that's me and perhaps many other modern day artists. What of the artist in the dark of those caves? These images created, was it 14,000 years ago, or longer? Who really knows? Can we assume that these artist of the paleolithic period were not of the same mind set as now? Art for us is a process of recording, expression, a reflection of our inner nature and sometimes of the divine. What were these artist expressing or communicating? Lets accept one thing before I continue in this vein. It would seem that some natural talent was used by the artist in these times as the quality of painting and use of line shows to us. Often the figures were enhanced by colour sprayed through a tube, the paint blown from the mouth. Were these artists part of the magical process or were they paid in some way? Did they come from within the tribe or from elsewhere? Was it the Shaman who created the art for his own rituals? Most of these questions are impossible to answer. What is possible is to use the knowledge that we have of tribal peoples and their traditions. The shaman or healer or priest / holy man / woman is a figure still in existence today in some cultures. In fact the shamanic knowledge is being handed on to certain members of Western cultures. Shamanic practices have been well documented by anthropologists over the last 150 years. The shamanic practices through out the world have several features in common. The shaman is a link to the spirit world. By going into a trance the shaman enters the other world and communicates with the spirits of animals or ancestors. These spirit guides help the shaman to resolve problems for individuals or whole groups. The spirit world is divided into three sections Middle Earth where we live The Underworld land of spirits and the dead The Upperworld the place of Gods and Guardians To reach a state of trance the shaman has several methods, dance, meditation and drugs being the main ones. When he enters the other world the shaman seeks his spirit guide to help him resolve his quest. In these early times as in more recent recorded events the shaman would communicate with the spirits of the animals who, would be or had been killed. Keeping a balance to the order of nature was necessary. At times of shortage he would communicate with the spirits to help him bring food to his people. At times of drought he would sing for rain. This still does not answer the question as to why these pictures are there hidden deep in a dark cave away from prying eyes. As the shaman enters trance he begins the journey into the underworld the cave could well represent that journey. The pictures on the walls are the images seen on the journey. This could simply be a way of recording a spirit journey. A way to hold the images. It could even be used as a teaching device for new initiates. Perhaps this is why there so many overlapping animals. Can you imagine the impact of such paintings on the uninitiated visiting the cave. In the dim light the images would have been clearer and brighter than today. The shaman could well have been dressed as the picture. The drum would be beating. Incense could well be burning. Certainly a great setting in which to induce hallucinatory experiences, or if you prefer, induce the beginning of a journey into the spirit world. There are many other depictions of what have been called Animal Masters in caves around Europe and Asia. They link with the antlered and horned figures of Nordic mythology and Pan in Greek mythology. Whatever the true explaination is you can allow your imagination to run over the possibilities and no doubt add to my speculation. Biblography Van James Spirit and Art: Paleo-shamanic Iconography See www.theosophical.org/questmagazine/janfeb04/james George Frazer The golden Bough Nevill Drury The Shaman and The Magician Michael Harner The Way of the Shaman ©Ian Bracegirdle 2005 http://www.mask-and-more-masks.com You may use this article freely on condition that you include this copyright line and URL and that people who subsequently use this article follow the same conditions. Thank you for accepting these conditions.